The Distinctively Diva Dish

Happiness to Go: Make Little Changes

Discovering the simple steps to happiness is one of life’s great quests. One of the keys is feeling successful and success comes from a job well done. The best way to accomplish great things is to break the big jobs into little ones.

Working on your happiness or any change is the same. Why is it if we decide to lose 10 lbs, we go on a severe diet and join a gym. Within a week or 2 we’re exhausted and then we quit. We’re also unhappy.

What is one thing you would love to change about your life? Would it make you happy if you quit smoking? What if you reduced the amount you smoked by 1 cigarette a day for a week? If you wanted to increase your exercise, how would you be 3 minutes at a time, or even 1 minute. They all count, so do what you will do, not what you think you should do.

Try it for yourself. Pick something you’ve been putting off doing. That’s always the best. Now examine the project and find the first task to be done. Completing that one task will open such a window for you’ll be amazed at the energy and yes, happiness you can create.

Be Observant, Only the Little Things Matter For God is in the Details

 BellIn the common folklore there are two cool stories about a couple of famous inventors: Thomas Edison and Abraham Graham Bell accomplished things that changed the world. Edison discovered filament in the incandescent light bulb and the telephone.

 

Each dreamer, worked painstakingly at the task at hand. Their scheme wasn’t grandiose, like Tesla’ who tried to build an enormous tower of electricity without wires. The project was so big it became his demise. “In 1905, after some amazing electrical displays, Tesla and his team had to abandon the project forever. The newspapers called it, "Tesla's million dollar folly." (PBS)

Edison toiled away day after day on the filament and gas in the glass shell. I’ve heard he made 10,000 attempts and  recently found a statement that he made 3,000 filaments before the one that worked.

When the patent for the telephone was received, there were 2 patents for the modern day phone in the U.S. Patent Office. 

Bell was granted the patent because his invention called for a screw to be turned ¼ of an inch more and that is what allowed the telephone connection to work.

Now don’t hold me to the exact history on the retelling of these stories, but they point to something very important for success in life. Love is in the details of life and it is so critical to how we feel, we really want to make paying attention important.

• How do your friends and families feel when you make a fuss over a special day or event?
• Now how do they feel when you pull something together at the last minute?
• Not quite the same feeling, is it?

With our busy lives, details are the things that fall out. We rush and bustle trying to do too much in too little time. I know there are allot of details but let’s try to just get a few of them right. The good news is you don’t have to do them all alone. Schedule reminders for birthdays online. One way I do it is at www.proflowers.com I’ve recorded the important people in my life and I’m sent a reminder when their birthday is coming up. It keeps me out of trouble and I appreciate the service whether I send flowers or not. By the way, Divas get a 10% discount and the secret code is in The Daily Diva Word, so if you do want to send flowers, your book will be paid for. I have never been disappointed in Proflower.com’s flowers, they are so beautiful and fresh. 

So for purposes of our exercise today, make a list of 3 details you wish you were taking care of better. Then make a plan to support you in your attention to detail plan.

We can all learn from Thomas Edison who said, "Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration." Whatever you do, never give up on your dreams, just pay more attention to the details.

Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life

How many times have you heard this phrase, Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Usually we shrug it off, or chuckle, but I think it is one of the most powerful statements we can make to ourselves.

This is how I think of it. Today is new and bright and shiny and full of possibility. We don’t have to do 1 thing today that we have ever done before. We can choose who we want to be in the moment. We can be loving and sweet or sexy and sassy. How we wore our hair yesterday has nothing to do with how we look today. Mix it up and find a new way to express yourself.

I love the movie Catch Me If You Can with Leonardo Dicaprio and Tom Hanks. In real life, Frank Abagnale Jr., the role played by Leonardo, takes on 3 different personas, as a doctor, lawyer and Pan Am pilot. He did it effortlessly as if it was second nature. Now I’m not advocating that you go and con people or companies out of any money, I just saying playing who can I be today is a delightful way to spend your time. A new day, a new you.

One of the ways that I remind myself that all bets are off this day is right before I get out of bed. During my last 5 minutes snuggling under the down comforter, I say this prayer 3 times: “This is the day the Lord has made, let me rejoice and be glad in it.” I’m not sure if it's from the bible or who the author is. What I know is that it reminds me I’m not in charge of the day. I can make the most of the precious time I have been given today. Why would I want to spend it as a frustrated mom or jilted woman. No, if this is my day I will spend it as a femme fatale, on a secret mission to find the purpose of this crazy life we have.

I have a new (old) slogan I’m living up to these days. Too much of a good thing is wonderful. Words of wisdom spoken by Mae West. Take heed Diva and fill up your days with way too much of all good things.

Forgive yourself and Let Go of the Past

When we start our journey into our new  happy future, you may be surprised to find that old sneaky devil called your past following you around. Your past can delight you or haunt you, but no matter what you can never go home again. To ensure a happy future you have to say good-bye to your past for good.

The good past we're going to call memories and for today, they're safe. The bad stuff in your past, old lovers, ex-anything, failed aspirations and thwarted dreams are like chains attached to giant lead balls around your ankles.

One of the tricks to help ensure your happiness is to realize that every day you wake up, a new dose of the past from yesterday is still lying on the bedroom floor. The check you forgot to mail, the cookies you didn't bake, the  prescription you needed but didn't get, everything on your to do list that didn't get done. That is your past.

So one important step to take is to finish each day off before you go to bed. Any leftovers from the day become the  starters for tomorrow. They no longer linger, they move to the head of the class. So you end the concept of being behind and replace it with being ahead.

The next important step is to remove the past from your present. We all have triggers that pull us back to the past, for good or bad. It's just the way it is, so don't judge it, you'll use up way too much energy. Look around and see  if you can spot the past. If you can date when you received something, see where it takes you. If it doesn't make  you happy, it needs to move on to a new life some where else. Be brutual. Be quick. Most of all be thorough.

If you have some past you need to deal with, just not today, then schedule it in your calendar, just like you would a doctor's appointment. On that day, clean up what you can and schedule the rest.  Anything that pulls you back to another time has to go. I remember I had a beautiful sterling silver jewelry box
that was given to me by a young man I was hoping would be the one when I was 19 years old. He gave it to me at the  train station in Philadelphia where he told me between trains, mine coming to him, his going away, that I was not the one. It broke my heart and I brought that stupid jewelry box with me every where I lived for the next 30 years.

A daily reminder that I was not enough, or good enough. A reminder I didn't recognize of course, but still there none-the-less. Until I realized, as I threw that silver box away, that I was more than enough, I was a Diva. The  Light of the Divine, good enough for anyone, but most of all, good enough for me. And that my dear Diva, is the only  one who counts. Same goes for you. Now, get going.

Change your inner diet: You are what you feed yourself

If you are familiar with DistinctivelyDiva.com, you've probably heard me tell the story of the Pink Flamingo. so thank you for your smile while I share the tale with those new to us. The Pink Flamingo is a community oriented bird, they travel in flocks and get their beautiful, pink color from their food. During hard times when they aren't being nourished, their color becomes muted and even loses it color.


I think women are just like the Pink Flamingo, which is why our mascot is the beautiful flamingo drawn by illustrator Caroline De Vita. As you can see, as we start to feed our spirits nourishing ideas, words, music and thoughts we feel better. Maybe that's the reason for the phrase, 'Staying In the Pink' for when we are happy, everyone is  happy.

One of the keys in switching the diet of our internal dialogue, is watching what goes in. Without censoring yourself, see if you can remember what you read, watched or listened to yesterday. If you can't remember, just make a note of today's fare.

Some of my favorite shows involve murder and a murder mystery is my favorite book. I'm a slueth and love the   figuring out crime part. If I get too focused on it, I have nightmares, which are a sure sign I need more good in my life.

I have an emergency basket of uplifting material that helps me shift my space. Of course, at the top of my list is Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. (Sarah's coming to the states in October, so if you want a once in a  lifetime experience of comfort and joy, check out her workshop)

Next in my basket is Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, Norman Vincent Peale, The Power of Positive Thinking, any tape of Marianne Williamson's lectures on a Course in Miracles, Abraham-Hicks tapes on the Law of Attraction, The Daily Diva Word and the Bible. Reading any one of these works always makes me feel better.

With a steady diet of good news, you will find that you feel happier on a regular basis. So if you are feeling blue  or out of sorts, turn down the bad news and turn up the good. It's a simple shift that has long range impact.

Let's Start at the Beginning

In our own pursuit of happiness, we need to remember those wonderful things that make us happy. It really isn't a hard thing to do. Here are some of my all time favorite things:

1. Valet Parking
2. Iced Chai Latte Tea
3. Smooth heels and girls nothing beats the Pedegg for smooth heels
4. Bach's Rescue Remedy. I'm not sure what it does, but I always feel better after I take it.
5. Perry Mason , the old ones from the 1950's are my favorites. I take lunch whenever it is on.

6. Watching a movie with my son.
7. Having a wonderful massage with Dana.
8. Laughing with my brothers and sister.
9. Chocolate Birthday Cake 10/8 Divas!
10. Writing and sharing my life with you.

See how easy it as. Rattle off your 10 right now. Share in the comments if you're brave.

All the best,
Maureen